This was such a beautiful essay that captures, much more eloquently than I could, why I dislike the Neapolitan novels so much.
I, too, had a messed-up friend, in grad school in my case, and we were not particularly good for each other. I really saw a lot of the two of us in Elena and Lila--the jealousy and undermining, the support but also the backstabbing, the schadenfreude. We stopped being friends many years ago, and that is unquestioningly a good thing for me. (Probably for her too.)
So many women recommended the Neapolitan novels to me, saying that they were "a beautiful story of the power of women's friendship." I can only conclude that these women have poor reading comprehension; I had to stop reading them because I couldn't stand the toxicity. But it is a measure of how effective Ferrante's writing is that her novels had such an impact on me, and it sounds like on you too, and for a similar reason.
I enjoyed the novels because of the writing, but I absolutely agree that both Lila and Elena were unlikable. It's a shame they never grew up and out of their Lord of the Flies-style childhood connection.
I think it's difficult when your best friend is also the one who has the life you want. The jealousy they both hold for one another sabotages them at every turn. Along with that, they've never had a model for a healthy relationship nor did they ever learn how to deal with their disappointment so they often lash out at one another when they need each other most.
It's one of those things that feels so painfully true to life that it becomes difficult to read.
I think I wrote about this anecdote somewhere already, but the concept of the perfect omelette, for me, comes from an episode of Top Chef from almost 20 years ago when Wiley Dufresne was a guest judge.
All the chefs were making these wild meals, experimenting with flavor and texture and so on, but the meal he awarded the win to was just an omelette.
I worked in a restaurant for 8 years, and one thing we did pretty often was an omelette bar where we cooked omelettes to order in front of the people. That was the worst. It was always so crowded, and any screw up typically meant starting over because nobody is ever satisfied with a less than perfect omelette. So of course every mistake made the line just that much longer. Ugggg....
This was such a beautiful essay that captures, much more eloquently than I could, why I dislike the Neapolitan novels so much.
I, too, had a messed-up friend, in grad school in my case, and we were not particularly good for each other. I really saw a lot of the two of us in Elena and Lila--the jealousy and undermining, the support but also the backstabbing, the schadenfreude. We stopped being friends many years ago, and that is unquestioningly a good thing for me. (Probably for her too.)
So many women recommended the Neapolitan novels to me, saying that they were "a beautiful story of the power of women's friendship." I can only conclude that these women have poor reading comprehension; I had to stop reading them because I couldn't stand the toxicity. But it is a measure of how effective Ferrante's writing is that her novels had such an impact on me, and it sounds like on you too, and for a similar reason.
Yeah, seeing this as a beautiful relationship is astounding. Their relationship reminds me of the porcupine dilemma.
The power of women's friendship would seem to be in the ability to ruin one another's lives!
I enjoyed the novels because of the writing, but I absolutely agree that both Lila and Elena were unlikable. It's a shame they never grew up and out of their Lord of the Flies-style childhood connection.
I think it's difficult when your best friend is also the one who has the life you want. The jealousy they both hold for one another sabotages them at every turn. Along with that, they've never had a model for a healthy relationship nor did they ever learn how to deal with their disappointment so they often lash out at one another when they need each other most.
It's one of those things that feels so painfully true to life that it becomes difficult to read.
Interestingly, you and your dad were both on to something important... Eggs are at the very heart of being an excellent cook:
https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/610217/fascinating-reason-there-are-100-folds-chefs-hat
That's pretty interesting!
I think I wrote about this anecdote somewhere already, but the concept of the perfect omelette, for me, comes from an episode of Top Chef from almost 20 years ago when Wiley Dufresne was a guest judge.
All the chefs were making these wild meals, experimenting with flavor and texture and so on, but the meal he awarded the win to was just an omelette.
I worked in a restaurant for 8 years, and one thing we did pretty often was an omelette bar where we cooked omelettes to order in front of the people. That was the worst. It was always so crowded, and any screw up typically meant starting over because nobody is ever satisfied with a less than perfect omelette. So of course every mistake made the line just that much longer. Ugggg....
That sounds like pure unadulterated misery.