18 Comments
Mar 10, 2023Liked by radicaledward

I have probably been all of these people at some point. Maybe at some point yesterday. Good reminder to do better!

Expand full comment
Mar 10, 2023Liked by radicaledward

My wife is a pacifist Quaker and yes, somehow the topic brings out a need for people to be all, "But what if a horde of Nazi vampires had a nuclear weapon and you knew that they would use it unless you shot just the one chief Nazi vampire who also was secretly suicidal and wanted to be shot?" Somehow nobody does this for any other topic. Nobody says, "I don't think you should sexually harass people at work," only for people to jump out of the woodwork and say, "But what if the world was going to end unless you sexually harassed the receptionist, just one time, and it wasn't even that bad, but it would definitely cause genocide if you didn't..."

Expand full comment
Mar 10, 2023Liked by radicaledward

I NOTICED YOU ARE WRITING ABOUT A TOPIC I FEEL VERY PASSIONATELY ABOUT! HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED WHAT YOU WOULD DO IF ONE OF YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS TOLD YOU THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE THEIR LIFE WOULD BE TO ADMIT THAT YOU HAVE TO TALK TO SOMEONE EVEN THOUGH THEY USE ONE OF THESE STRATEGIES YOU DON'T WANT TO ENGAGE WITH TO ARGUE?!?!?! PLUS, I NOTICE THAT YOU REFER TO "LOVED ONES" WHICH I ASSUME YOU WANT TO MEAN FAMILY, BUT WHAT IF THAT PERSON ISN'T SOMEONE YOU LOVE BUT IS STILL VERY IMPORTANT AND HAS AN IMPACT ON YOUR LIFE? WHAT DO YOU DO IN THAT SITUATION, HUH?!?!

FROM MY MANY YEARS USING TWITTER, I'VE LEARNED A LOT ABOUT THE WAY TO ENGAGE WITH PEOPLE. FOR EXAMPLE, I CAN SEE YOU KNOW THAT YOUR OPINIONS ON THIS CAN'T BE 100% CORRECT, BECAUSE YOU END WITH THAT JOKE ABOUT PEOPLE WHO WRITE ESSAYS, SO YOU'RE EFFECTIVELY ADMITTING THAT I'M RIGHT HERE.

NONETHELESS, AS A PERSON WHO WRITES ESSAYS, YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT THERE ARE NO ABSOLUTES AND YOU ARE IN NO POSITION TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO! I ACTUALLY HEARD A FACT THAT PACIFISTS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR 93% OF THE GENOCIDES ACROSS HISTORY, SO I AM WAITING TO HEAR WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THAT BECAUSE YOU MAY NOT THINK THAT'S RIGHT BUT IT IS FACT TO ME, SO I KNOW YOU'RE JUST GOING TO IGNORE IT.

DO BETTER EDDY!

Expand full comment

I loved this essay, even though I am busted as an inveterate interrupter and talk-over-er.

And arghh! Those language nitpickers! Before the Women’s March (which I attended in Prague), I posted a photo of myself holding a sign with a famous quote from Václav Havel, “Truth and love will overcome lies and hate.” In Czech, the quote begins “Pravda v laska . . .” and a former friend--a right-wing Republican--accused me of being a Communist and a Stalin apologist. Why? Because “Pravda” was also the name of the notorious Communist propaganda rag. I tried to persuade him that Havel, whose name followed the quote on the sign, is the literal opposite of Communism. And that Czech friends who had suffered under Communism told me about the quote. And that “Pravda” just means “truth” and is a perfectly normal, neutral word in Czech. To no avail. He kept ranting about how he had managed to expose the hidden truth of my beliefs. So I unfriended him.

You are absolutely right. Life is too short to inflict the aggravation of dealing with such people on ourselves.

Expand full comment

Thank you for the shout-out! Yes, everyone should read my What Remains of Edith Finch book excerpt.

I've been all of these at various points in my life. I'm probably most guilty for challenging people's beliefs with a lot of what ifs. I love a thought experiment. I love discussion and debate. But too often I've leverged a person's strong convictions for my own selfish ends.

I'm better now, though. I hope.

Expand full comment
Mar 10, 2023Liked by radicaledward

wisdom

Expand full comment